well will ask me why am i always
unable to appear for outings.
because im always tied down by family?
needing to be there to be mediator,
to pei my mum when everyone else
at home is busy,
to take care of my grandparents when
all the adults are too busy to...
thats why i always cannot go out often.
i know it irritates my mum so i try not
to go out often if i can help it.
and times when i pangsei my friends
and totally cannot get out of the house
also happens far often than not.
do i feel irritated?
if i dont i must be god.
but i cant not help.
like when my friends are in need i know
i have to help. same and simple logic.
the frustration i feel when i arrange to
go out and in the end have to throw
feathers at people is not nice.
even worse when they start accusing
me of being irresponsible cause they
dont understand.
but its my job.
i cant run away.
even if i dont like it sometimes.
i dont have a choice.
who likes to sacrifice going out
to settle family problems?
to be hounded when your trying
to study for your major exams.
everyone has their own problems.
i know.
i just happen to have larger scaled ones.
shrug.
